chopitoff

I've gotta say it's an effort me to be posting today.

I feel like shit. And yes perhaps that hass something to do with the fact that I had a little too much wine last night - and THEN my flatmate decided to break out a bottle of Port.

In all honesty though I think I am slipping into a mild depression. I'm sick of the pain. I wanted to take a walk today with my ipod to get the oxygen and blood pumping and cheer myself up but of course.... moving... can't go to fast so that was out.

Today I haven't left home. I had a bath. I watched some tv. I feel like the restricted lifestyle I've currently got is finally starting to take it's toll. I think not being able to masturbate for a week, and to have PAIN as the result of any sexual arousal is probably not too damn healthy.

And although I'm not as sore as I was previously, I feel like the sensitivity of my glans has gotten to a point where it is now not changing. I seem to have reached a level of uncomfortability that on a depressing bad dsay like today makes me fearful that this situation im in is for good. I know that is a stupid thing to say - but I guess I needed to vent it.

I guess I was a bit upset earlier today when, after having that bath, I tried to get dressed WITHOUT using my compression bandage and the gauze thing - instead opting to try just plain old underwear. Well that was a mistake. I'm glad nobody was around to hear me yelping from the pain!!!!

Oh, but on the lighter side, I bought a "cricketers cup". If you are American you will need to know that this is a plastic guard piece for your manhood worn by people playing criket so that they don't get their pride and joy smashed by a cricket ball (think baseball) accidentally going SMACK at a hundred miles an hour. It's sad that I have had to do this - but you have to admit it's pretty bloody funny!!!!

NOTE: I think it's important to clarify right now that anybody reading this blog who DOESN'T have sensitivie glans - as in glans that are painful to the touch - won't have to go through what I am going throuh. I'd hate to misinform somebody due to a communicative slip-up and scare somebody off going through with a circumcision.

** Sigh - anyway I'm having a crappy day and being very negative. I'm sure all will contineu to get better. I just don't know when. Fingers crossed.

Woke up with a raging hardon today! (errection)

Trust me it is not pretty and far from sensual to wake up in pain as something that is supposed to be 'so big' is trying to be 'SO BIG' but with stitches saying 'Oh nooo you don't'.

Anyway I thought this morning the stitches would be enough to send any arousal packing it's bags as soon as the registry of pain = no fun happened but no deal. So off I hobbled to the bathroom, half bend over like a 90 year old man with a crook back.... to clean my teeth - the one thing that always makes me lose an errection (I think it's a psychological thing).

To the toilet then and then straight into the shower, which I must admit I am getting more and more comfortable with. I'm also getting more comfortable with my whole 7 part then repeat ritual of going to the batrhoom. It's still a pain (no pun intended) but it's LESS painful every time and less time consuming.

I think the skin on the glans of my penis has started to toughen up - like a high school nerd, who through working out at the gym, develops some confidence in the hope that oneday he will kick the football jocks ass. Well right now I'm aiming for oneday being able to masturbate again - kicking ass can come much later!

Also, I DID go out last night after dinner with friends. I hobbled into one of my favourite bars for a while, but not feeling like I could move to the music or even socialise without being guarded, or paranoise of being bumped into by crowds - I left and went home. Oh well.

Tonight is Saturday but I think I'll save myself for next weekend instead. By that time I will perhaps be without my compression dressing and my sexy stocking gauze underwear.

As I write this post I'm busting to go to the toilet. I've been darting around the house doing the first bit of cleaning that I've felt up to since my operation. Although in the last twenty four hours I HAVE been out of the house a few times, I've been taking it easy. Cleaning is a chore.
And although I'm not down on my hands and knees scrubbing (bending over or leaning down seems to strain my stiches) I am otherwise working up a sweat.

But why busting for the bathroom? Well going to the bathroom is still a bit of an ordeal. It's not as simple as drop the pants and go nuts. Here is the rutual:

1. Clean hands and sterilize with some antiseptic alcohol (being careful)
2. Drop pants to floor so they don't get in the way
3. Remove shirt if it gets in the way, and then underwear
4. Finally reach inside the GAUZE (stocking style underwear) under my underwear and INSIDE that again is the compression dressing....
5. Hold the compression and it's valuable cargo as still as possible and push gauze down to join underwear
6. NOW... slowly unrawp gauze. OUCH OUCH OUCH as the bits of the wounds that have stuck to it have to break away and then carefully maneurvre myself to the toilet
7. Being careful not to bang it around before or after OR get it rubbing aginst sterilized but probably still dirty toilet seat, stand back up and repeat steps 1 to 7 - IN REVERSE!

It's slow and it's painful, ahtough getting quicker and less painful by the day. Today I'm finding it more of a laborious pain in the ass and mildly uncomfortable than anything else... but still - what a drama!

NOTE: It's a much quicker action after a few glasses of red wine. Builds confidence, tolerance to pain, and generally heightens sense of 'Ahhhhh I'm not bothered-ed-ness'.

Due out for drinks at a friends place tonight. Hope it doesn't lead to an allnighter cos I will surely get TOO drunk, TOO confident and end up podium dancing my way into pulling a few stitches.

This morning is day three and now approximately 48 hours after the operation and things seem to be going quite well....

... excepting that I woke up this morning with a bloody errection which was not so much painful - but more worrying as I wondered if I wasn't going to be 'breaking free' of my stitches. No problem though, and off I went to the bathroom to clean my teeth which has almost ALWAYS solved that little problem for me - must be psychological.

Anyway the sensitivity is still there but I think it is getting better. This morning as I 'undressed' it was a little less of a scary painful operation and more a niggling thing to do. I still haven't dared to have a shower yet - might wait till later today when I have popped a vallium before I do THAT! Anyway my point is that, although my greatest fear was being 'exposed', it IS sensitive but not nearly as abd as I had thought.

Once I have re-dressed and everything is snuggly back in place I'm fine again anyway.

It's slowly getting easier. Keep hoping the sensitivity will disapear over night, but I guess like the pursuit of shiny Pantene hair - I'll just have to hang on a bit longer.

Thanks to the 12 people who have visited this blog since I started it today. Advertising it on Google is my gift to you. I only hope it helps!

I've had painkillers all day which have kept me in good form.
On top of that some Vallium to minimize my 'drama queen' moments....

Finally what better medicine than a few glasses of Sauvignon Blanc, some Japanese Chicken Katsu Don and a bag of Starburst Snake lollies (candy depending on where you are from).

I don't know if it's this diet, or the drugs, or WHATEVER but I'm now entering an area that feels somewhere between aprehension, boredom and depression. I want this to be over with - the pain that is. I want to be able to get back to my normal life...

And I'd like to not have to drag myself into the bathroom morning and night and go through the pain of undressing my manhood so as to either take a leak or add some antiseptic ointment. Undressin, although getting easier each time, is not a pleasant affair. Since having the chop, the exposed glans of my penis are hurting whenever they have their dressing removed or replaced - cos they tend to stick a bit. Ahhhh well - they things we do eh?

Sleeping was no problem last night and I'm hoping it won't be again tonight. Having to avoid messages and 'what you doing?' requests via text message though because as much as I like the sympathy that comes with being in recovery... I don't share the circumcision story. So I'm just laying low.

More from me in the morning no doubt.

Now the op and everything else happened yesterday, btu I'm only just getting a chance to blog about it today so this is where the blog becomes real time!

It's the day after my Op and 10:25am. I slept ok last night - on the couch with the tv - and got up once at 4am to go to the bathroom before easily going back to sleep. Even though I'd heard that sleep would be heard because moving my raw sore, sensitive and exposed penis as I rolled around in my sleep would set off pain.... it didn't.

I think I even woke with a MILD errection which was also supposed to be painful. It wasn't. And it certainly went away quick hehe. There is nothing less arrousing that a bloodied penis covered in stitches - an epicentre of pain - oooooh how sexy!

I have painkillers - Tramadol I think they are called. Can't reach the packetg for the spelling just at the moment but they seem to be taking the edge off. I also had some vallium in the house which I have decided to keep on hand just in case, and to take at night to help me relax and sleep.

The BATHROOM has been my only challenging experience so far. I have to get fully undressed and then take off the gauze (stocking like underwear) that houses the soft white dressing pad that houses my wang. Taking off the dressing is hurting so far for two reasons...

A) The blood that is there causes my penis to stick to the dressing so pulling it OFF does hurt a fair bit
B) Obviously my penis glans are also sensitive and now exposed meaning ANY touching, rubbing or movement of them hurts.

None the less, although this hurts like hell, it's a few seconds of hard yards and then onto the toilet where I am managing to take a leak without any problem at all. I then go through the reverse of the above to redress myself (with slightly LESS pain) and pop the results all back beneath some tight underwear to hold everything in place.

I can move around the house, walk slowly and what-not so thats a good thing. More Law & Order Episodes perhaps? I think I've taped some Simpsons too!

So the wrap up? At this stage, 24 hours after my op, I'm moving around my own apartment, watching tv, sitting at computer writing this blog - and keeping things in place as they begint to heal. The occasional bit of pain if I move the wrong way but by NO MEANS as bad as I was immagining.

Oh yes and I have decided that Chocolate is a painkiller!

YAY!

BEFORE
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I wasn't nervous. I think I'd spent so much time worrying about the damn thing that I was all worried out. I think as well, the fact that I was going to sleep throught the whole thing and wake up still numb and relaxed from the anastehetic took a lot of worry out of me.

I spoke to a series of nurses and doctors who were all pleasant. A few questions to make sure I was fit and healthy enought o be put to sleep, some forms to sign - I got my uber-cool little hospital robe to wear too!

Last thing I remember was hopping up on the anaethetists wheelie-bed and being given some vallium and after tha....t........

AFTER
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I'm just there eyes open, happy as a pig in shit.

Exactly what I had predicted happened. I woke up without pain and generally feeling pretty good. I was sitting up in no time, then standing up and escorted to a chair where I got to socialise with other post-op people while they fed us cookies and COFFEE so as to get us to the bathroom soon... and when I finally did not a pretty sight, but what else was I supposed to expect??!

I spoke to the doctor and was taken home by friends to watch freshly taped episodes of Law & Order and to munch out on left over takeaway Thai food from the night before.

... but I'm on my way towards recovery because I decided to CHOP IT OFF! (The foreskins that is... not my penis) Anyway why beat around the bush? There is a story to be told here and it starts like this.

Yesterday I had a circumcision.

I don't remember being gassed.
I don't remember waking up.

All I knew is that I was laying in a hospital bed minus a foreskin, and listening to some guy singing a Chris Isaac Song... I even had a bit of a hum along! It was just after 10am and without any knowledge or recollection of what had just happened I was flat on my back in a hospital ward having just been 'chopped' by a doctor and some nurses in a room while under a general anasthetic.

This is a real life account of what I am going through post-op in the hope that it will help ease the minds of other people who are scared shitless of having a circumcision. I no longer belong to your exclusive little Phimosis club... maybe oneday if you decide to cancel your membership too - this will help ease your mind.

I'm paying to advertise this blog on google out of my own pocket. Why? Because I could never find anything like this myself so this is my GIFT TO YOU.